One Day My Mind Opened Up
Monday, May 29, 2006
A Year In The Possible
One year ago today, I began a journey. I realized that I was no longer "living on the edge" and that I could once again begin to explore the realms of the possible.
It's been an interesting ride so far. Not even a month into this journey I realized the kind of power I had within me. I found a small oasis of serenity literally outside my apartment, and recently saw a farm transformed into a magical wonderland of fairies, elves and warriors.
I've made new friends through poetry and art, and even reconnected with a few old college buddies.
But the best and most wonderful thing that I think has happened on this little quest is that somehow, through all of this, I think my "Mask of rage" started to fall off and the gentle soul within me has started to come out more and more.
So the next question is, where now? And I can say I have no clue, I don't know what's at the other end of this, or when I'll get there. It could be next week, next month or a year from now.
All I know is that yesterday, while enjoying my breakfast outside, as I looked out at the trees across from my house, I realized something. La vie, c'est si bonne!
LIFE IS GOOD! ¶ 8:29 AM
One year ago today, I began a journey. I realized that I was no longer "living on the edge" and that I could once again begin to explore the realms of the possible.
It's been an interesting ride so far. Not even a month into this journey I realized the kind of power I had within me. I found a small oasis of serenity literally outside my apartment, and recently saw a farm transformed into a magical wonderland of fairies, elves and warriors.
I've made new friends through poetry and art, and even reconnected with a few old college buddies.
But the best and most wonderful thing that I think has happened on this little quest is that somehow, through all of this, I think my "Mask of rage" started to fall off and the gentle soul within me has started to come out more and more.
So the next question is, where now? And I can say I have no clue, I don't know what's at the other end of this, or when I'll get there. It could be next week, next month or a year from now.
All I know is that yesterday, while enjoying my breakfast outside, as I looked out at the trees across from my house, I realized something. La vie, c'est si bonne!
LIFE IS GOOD! ¶ 8:29 AM
Friday, May 26, 2006
Just In Time For The Movie. . . .
You Are Cyclops
Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.
You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.
Power: force beams from your eyes
¶ 11:03 PM
You Are Cyclops
Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.
You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.
Power: force beams from your eyes
¶ 11:03 PM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Thinking Fast
Well I managed to take the pics I took at that fest and use them as my screensaver.
Well I realized that one of the pics I like was a "grab shot" of a girl or young lady wading in a creek:
And I think I know why. Any fan of Dave Matthews Band may see a similarity to this pic and the "Firedance" logo. ¶ 8:11 AM
Well I managed to take the pics I took at that fest and use them as my screensaver.
Well I realized that one of the pics I like was a "grab shot" of a girl or young lady wading in a creek:
And I think I know why. Any fan of Dave Matthews Band may see a similarity to this pic and the "Firedance" logo. ¶ 8:11 AM
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
80 Questions
Got this from a friend.
Whats your middle name?
Lawrence
How big is your bed?
Twin (folding sofa)
What are you listening to right now?
Nothing
What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
Do not wish to answer
What was the last thing you ate?
Pork Loin and Cheesy Rice
Last person you hugged?
My Aunt Bernie
How is the weather right now?
Sunny
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone
My family
What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex?
Face, specificaly eyes
Favorite type of Food?
Edible
Do you want children?
Don't know
Do you drink?
Alcoholic--Socially
Non-Alcoholic--Enough
Hair color?
Brown
Eye color?
See above
Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Yes (that reminds me--I need to call the eye doctor)
Favorite holiday?
Christmas
Favorite Season?
Spring
Last Movie you Watched?
Prime
What books are you reading?
None
Piercings?
none
Favorite Movie?
V For Vendetta
Favorite college football Team?
YSU Penguins
What were you doing before filling this out?
Having Lunch
Any pets?
NO
Dogs or cats?
Cats
Favorite Flower?
Roses
Have you ever loved someone?
Yes.
Who would you like to see right now?
My Nephew
Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes, many years ago
Do you like to travel by plane?
Yeah
Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right.
If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
Ireland
Are you missing someone?
Yes
Do you have a tattoo?
No.
Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
No
Are you hiding something from someone?
Nothing.
ARE YOU 18?
With 13 years experience;)
WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
Duke Blue Devil
DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
Yep
FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING?
What do I have to do today
WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE?
Cell Phone
WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?
Click around this page and see;)
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Nope
FAVORITE HANGOUT?
CornerStone Coffeehouse
3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
Music, Family and The 'Net
FAVORITE SONG?
Right Now--Unwritten
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
Dying
ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
Balancer
WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
J, J-Dog, The Hammer
WHAT IS YOUR DADS MIDDLE NAME?
Same as mine
WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME?
Doesn't have one
STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING?
Crankable radio
FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAl
Magic Fridge!
FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
My Pictures
Whats your favorite color?
Blue
WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU?
Intelligence and sense of purpose
WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
Astronaut
WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 11:11
AM-Eating
PM-PLaying on line
THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEEt?
White
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?
What do I need to do tomorrow ¶ 11:46 AM
Got this from a friend.
Whats your middle name?
Lawrence
How big is your bed?
Twin (folding sofa)
What are you listening to right now?
Nothing
What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
Do not wish to answer
What was the last thing you ate?
Pork Loin and Cheesy Rice
Last person you hugged?
My Aunt Bernie
How is the weather right now?
Sunny
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone
My family
What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex?
Face, specificaly eyes
Favorite type of Food?
Edible
Do you want children?
Don't know
Do you drink?
Alcoholic--Socially
Non-Alcoholic--Enough
Hair color?
Brown
Eye color?
See above
Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Yes (that reminds me--I need to call the eye doctor)
Favorite holiday?
Christmas
Favorite Season?
Spring
Last Movie you Watched?
Prime
What books are you reading?
None
Piercings?
none
Favorite Movie?
V For Vendetta
Favorite college football Team?
YSU Penguins
What were you doing before filling this out?
Having Lunch
Any pets?
NO
Dogs or cats?
Cats
Favorite Flower?
Roses
Have you ever loved someone?
Yes.
Who would you like to see right now?
My Nephew
Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes, many years ago
Do you like to travel by plane?
Yeah
Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right.
If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
Ireland
Are you missing someone?
Yes
Do you have a tattoo?
No.
Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
No
Are you hiding something from someone?
Nothing.
ARE YOU 18?
With 13 years experience;)
WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
Duke Blue Devil
DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
Yep
FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING?
What do I have to do today
WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE?
Cell Phone
WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?
Click around this page and see;)
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Nope
FAVORITE HANGOUT?
CornerStone Coffeehouse
3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
Music, Family and The 'Net
FAVORITE SONG?
Right Now--Unwritten
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
Dying
ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
Balancer
WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
J, J-Dog, The Hammer
WHAT IS YOUR DADS MIDDLE NAME?
Same as mine
WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME?
Doesn't have one
STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING?
Crankable radio
FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAl
Magic Fridge!
FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
My Pictures
Whats your favorite color?
Blue
WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU?
Intelligence and sense of purpose
WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
Astronaut
WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 11:11
AM-Eating
PM-PLaying on line
THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEEt?
White
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?
What do I need to do tomorrow ¶ 11:46 AM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
With A Little Help From My Friends
Ten years ago this week, I found myself staring darkness in the face and learning about the power of friendships.
This story takes place in Rochester, New York. I was in college and my roommate had decided to invite a lady he had met on-line to visit. The arrangements were made with the RA and I agreed to this. I even spoke with the young lady on the phone.
Things went well, until Monday night. Hearing the two of them talk like, well, kids in love drove to the point that I had to leave the dorm. I began just kinda roaming the halls until two other young men asked me what was the problem. So I explained the situation of how I wondered how my roommate, who spent most of his spare time on-line, had managed to find someone. Well I don't remember what exactly they said, but I did feel better.
Well the next day went OK as well, I explained that I had an "attack of doubt" and that I should be OK. Well I was, until that evening. When I nearly rammed my TV through the wall. I decided my best bet at that point was to go downstairs, and hope a high school buddy who was an RA may be willing to listen. Well he wasn't there, but another young lady was. She, too, heard my tale. She was also able to give a woman's perspective on things and basically told me not to worry about it.
So back upstairs I went, where the most surprising of my "Angels" would come to my aid. His name was Mario and he was your archetypical "frat boy". I had won his respect when I confronted him about his needling me. Some of what he told me may have been the best advice of all. He basically said that people like my roommate need to "take what they can get" while I can be a bit more picky. Now I'm still waiting to find a girl under a tree reading poetry--of course, it may be now more a case of a girl liking something I read at a coffeehouse, etc.
Well this whole saga has a weird ending. Over Easter, my roommate apologized to me for this whole incident. But I said he had no need to, maybe because I learned the power of friendship. ¶ 10:29 PM
Ten years ago this week, I found myself staring darkness in the face and learning about the power of friendships.
This story takes place in Rochester, New York. I was in college and my roommate had decided to invite a lady he had met on-line to visit. The arrangements were made with the RA and I agreed to this. I even spoke with the young lady on the phone.
Things went well, until Monday night. Hearing the two of them talk like, well, kids in love drove to the point that I had to leave the dorm. I began just kinda roaming the halls until two other young men asked me what was the problem. So I explained the situation of how I wondered how my roommate, who spent most of his spare time on-line, had managed to find someone. Well I don't remember what exactly they said, but I did feel better.
Well the next day went OK as well, I explained that I had an "attack of doubt" and that I should be OK. Well I was, until that evening. When I nearly rammed my TV through the wall. I decided my best bet at that point was to go downstairs, and hope a high school buddy who was an RA may be willing to listen. Well he wasn't there, but another young lady was. She, too, heard my tale. She was also able to give a woman's perspective on things and basically told me not to worry about it.
So back upstairs I went, where the most surprising of my "Angels" would come to my aid. His name was Mario and he was your archetypical "frat boy". I had won his respect when I confronted him about his needling me. Some of what he told me may have been the best advice of all. He basically said that people like my roommate need to "take what they can get" while I can be a bit more picky. Now I'm still waiting to find a girl under a tree reading poetry--of course, it may be now more a case of a girl liking something I read at a coffeehouse, etc.
Well this whole saga has a weird ending. Over Easter, my roommate apologized to me for this whole incident. But I said he had no need to, maybe because I learned the power of friendship. ¶ 10:29 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Fest Pics
Well I managed to get some of the pics from the festival I attended last weekend done. There are so many I'm thinking of doing them as a small collage and submitting the whole thing to DeviantArt.
But here are a few samples of what I saw there:
¶ 7:32 AM
Well I managed to get some of the pics from the festival I attended last weekend done. There are so many I'm thinking of doing them as a small collage and submitting the whole thing to DeviantArt.
But here are a few samples of what I saw there:
¶ 7:32 AM
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
SILENCED
I found myself in an odd spot today. I COULD HARDLY TALK!
I think a festival on a farm I went to over the weekend caused my allergies to go haywire and I have something similar to laryngitis. It was frustrating to be able to HEAR people speak but be unable to COMMUNICATE well to them.
Now during my inventory, all was OK. But at FedEx Ground--it made things difficult.
I just hope this clears up soon as I don't want the 'net to be the only way I can interact with the outside world. ¶ 10:52 PM
I found myself in an odd spot today. I COULD HARDLY TALK!
I think a festival on a farm I went to over the weekend caused my allergies to go haywire and I have something similar to laryngitis. It was frustrating to be able to HEAR people speak but be unable to COMMUNICATE well to them.
Now during my inventory, all was OK. But at FedEx Ground--it made things difficult.
I just hope this clears up soon as I don't want the 'net to be the only way I can interact with the outside world. ¶ 10:52 PM
Saturday, May 06, 2006
CAUTION--RANT ALERT
OK, I gotta get this out into the open and since I know very few people ever read this page I may as well get this out into the open here.
I went to a Festival today. I had a ton of fun and have to edit and crop about 25-27 pics, some of which I may submit to a contest.
Well imagine my surprise when I saw protestors on my way out. Now what were the protesting, the belief that this fest was promoting paganism and witchcraft. Yes, the "Taliban Wing" of the GOP found something else to complain about.
Well I got to thinking that there are many more pressing issues that these people could be putting time into; poverty, environmental destruction, and America's Imperial Aims. But these issues can't be reduced to "sound bites" and may mean confronting issues and asking questions.
OK--rant over. Pics coming--well--when I get around to it. . . ¶ 7:54 PM
OK, I gotta get this out into the open and since I know very few people ever read this page I may as well get this out into the open here.
I went to a Festival today. I had a ton of fun and have to edit and crop about 25-27 pics, some of which I may submit to a contest.
Well imagine my surprise when I saw protestors on my way out. Now what were the protesting, the belief that this fest was promoting paganism and witchcraft. Yes, the "Taliban Wing" of the GOP found something else to complain about.
Well I got to thinking that there are many more pressing issues that these people could be putting time into; poverty, environmental destruction, and America's Imperial Aims. But these issues can't be reduced to "sound bites" and may mean confronting issues and asking questions.
OK--rant over. Pics coming--well--when I get around to it. . . ¶ 7:54 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
As Much I Deny It. . . .
On another message board, I've created a term called the "McEconomy". This is a tern that comes from my belief that much of our economy has become based on what's called a "McJob"; low wages, limited benefits(if any), mainly in the service sector.
Well what I need to realize is that at some level--I may be little more than on the upper end of this. I kinda had an opportunity for an IT job close to home slip through my fingers because the place insists on a "Face-to-Face" interview. Which I can't do on anything less than two weeks notice; as I need to clear time off with my employers.
Makes me wonder if many members of the true "McEconomy" are trapped in a similar situation, they can't really aggressively search for work as they're too busy working.
But all's not lost, I printed out a job for a web dev position with some sort of activist group that I may look into. ¶ 12:15 PM
On another message board, I've created a term called the "McEconomy". This is a tern that comes from my belief that much of our economy has become based on what's called a "McJob"; low wages, limited benefits(if any), mainly in the service sector.
Well what I need to realize is that at some level--I may be little more than on the upper end of this. I kinda had an opportunity for an IT job close to home slip through my fingers because the place insists on a "Face-to-Face" interview. Which I can't do on anything less than two weeks notice; as I need to clear time off with my employers.
Makes me wonder if many members of the true "McEconomy" are trapped in a similar situation, they can't really aggressively search for work as they're too busy working.
But all's not lost, I printed out a job for a web dev position with some sort of activist group that I may look into. ¶ 12:15 PM
